This may not make any sense, because I am extremely tired right now and have to be awake in 4 hours, but I have to get this off my mind before I got to sleep and let it disappear into my subconscious! No one reads this anyway, so it’s cool if it doesn’t make sense.
LOVE
One of those things in life that everyone encounters. Even the worse people in the world know what love is. it’s the feeling of the wind in your hair. The time you take to stop and smell the flowers. the feeling of looking your loved one in the eye and knowing that everything is okay once again. The feeling of loving and being loved in return seems to be a vital feeling for our generation (and by that, really… i mean any generation). we all want it. we all crave it. we all desire it. It’s nature; it’s instinct.
But what do you do when the one you love betrays you, or you betray them, or you tell them you just dont feel the same way about them. then what? is the crushing feeling also nature. is that also instinct? Because it’s going to happen. That feeling of failure, loss, rejection. It happens to everyone. No one gets a “get out of pain free card” it’s just not going to happen. So how do we deal with it?
We take the cards we were dealt and play the best game of (insert card name here… I was personally considering putting solitaire in there because I love that game…but its probably not the best for the analogy 
) that we possibly can. Life doesn’t have redos. It doesn’t have do overs. We take what we can get, and work with what we have.
Everything happens for a reason.
People come into our lives for a reason, and people also leave our lives for a reason. Some people are meant to stay a while and take their shoes off… and other people, are just meant to come drop off a present, or the mail… and be on their way. Everyone’s time limit is different… everyone has different things they need to share with different people… and that limits how much time they can spend with you. teaching you. helping you learn more about yourself. helping you grow.
Eventually people need to move on. they need to help other people grow. help other people change, and in some cases… cause other people misery and heartbreak. because only then, in the misery and heartbreak do we find our true colors.
For instance… my true color is blue 
but, i already knew that… i’m just tired and wanted to type that.
but, for real. if I hadn’t gone through what I had gone through, I wouldn’t have had the same out look on life. so i’m thankful and grateful for the things that i’ve gone through because they’ve made me who I am today… and I could have ended up someone else… because of different experiences shaping my life. every decision has a consequence and it impacts you for the rest of your life, whether you realize it or not. it snowballs, and there’s nothing you can do about it. err… maybe it’s like the domino effect? i like that one better.
just flick the domino. take the first step. no one said it was going to be easy, they just said it was going to be worth it… and sometimes? life isn’t worth it. and you just want to quit and give up and start over. but you know what? you already pushed the domino. you can’t look back. just finish what you started, then you will have a new masterpiece (the image coming to mind is the scene in V for Vendetta when he flicks the dominoes, and at the end, it was a “V” with a circle around it. that’s one of my favorite scenes. When the dominoes are done falling, he takes that one remaining domino that didn’t fall and walks off.
We still have pieces of our past from our decisions that we’ve made, and we help it shape us and mold us.. but there’s no going back.
the hourglass has already flipped, and it’s stuck deep in a thing of cement.
So we put one foot in front of the other. Learn from our mistakes. Ask for forgiveness, and move on.
Sometimes people aren’t willing to forgive you for your mistakes, and you know what? that’s fine. You learned from what you did, and that’s all that matters. they need to learn in their own time about forgiveness, and they need to accept and move on in their own time, and it’s not always going to be your timing. when you ask for forgiveness. because sometimes the cuts go deeper than that. There are people around every day that you have no idea what they’ve gone through… they have been sliced open, broken, ripped apart… yet they still manage to live with a smile on their face..
that’s really all we need.
A smile. Encouragement. Happiness.
We don’t get more time on the earth, and we need to make it as productive and efficient as possible. There’s no point in moping around being miserable about the past. What is important though, is learning from the past to not make the same mistakes again. The more mistakes we make, the more we learn. The more we learn, the more we know. the more we know, the more we grow, the more we grow… well… we grow. it’s like a plant… a plant has 2 options… it can either absorb the sunlight and water and nutrients that it needs to survive and grow… do its purpose and die… or it can reject them and die. While either way the plant is going to die, but one option produces a far more productive option. plants don’t really have a choice though. they dont’ say “I’m sick of being next to this stupid (insert weed here) so I’m just going to not do my job today. grr im angry at (weed)”. They just do what they were meant to do: grow.
The purpose of being alive is to grow. Dead things don’t grow… they decay. Alive: grow. Dead: decay. get it? I didn’t say Alive: either grow or decay. I said… Alive: grow. End of story. it’s not an option. life sucks sometimes… but don’t forget about the good times. the times when the sun is beating down on your leaves and you just want to absorb as much of it’s energy as you possibly can so you can be the best plant you can possibly be. those are what we live for. Just as a side-effect, bad times comes… but once you are out of those bad times, you get to enjoy good times again… and then inevitably there will be more bad times, because what goes up, must come down… but once you’re down, the only place left to go is up. it’s a roller coaster ride.
so buckle in. Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times, and enjoy the ride.
“I put my hands up in the air sometimes, sayin’ aye, oh. gotta let go!”
im going to bed now. ill have to continue this some other time… but oh, this was my giant epiphany… i have no clue what i even wrote.
